Okay, so I travelled to see my folks over Christmas and they don’t have internet. So all the spam piled up while I was away and I was forced to flush it all at once when I got back, so any actual email from real people got lost. So sorry, but I’m back now. Hope everyone enjoyed (or at least survived) the holidays.
First of all, an apology: if you tried to send me a message in the last few months, it didn’t show up on the website. No, I wasn’t ignoring you—I was unable to access the damn thing, so I couldn’t approve any comments. Everything got stuck in the spam filter, which grew to over ten thousand spamments before I got it unstuck. So if you posted something, feel free to post it again, and this time I’ll be able to put it up and respond.
BETTER OFF UNDEAD is out and people seem to like it. I’ve just finished the final proofs of BACK FROM THE UNDEAD, which will be out in a few months. And if you’re in the mood for something darker, REMOTE (the sequel to the thriller THE CLOSER) is now available as an ebook: Amazon http://amzn.to/sMyfKs, Apple http://bit.ly/tkooLU, B&N http://bit.ly/tVKPIg. It’s by my pseudonymous alter ego, Donn Cortez, and one of the characters is a gigantic insane biker who thinks a supernatural race of Praying Mantises (no, that’s not a spelling error) are testing him to take over the universe. Also, though this isn’t science fiction, there’s a naked man fighting a robot.
No, this isn’t a post about grooming tips (though I understand that oatmeal is good for your skin) it’s just a quick note to let you know that I will be attending my first official convention as DD Barant this weekend, at VCon. The con is being held at the Airport Sheraton in Richmond, BC, just outside of Vancouver. I’m hoping my two other pseudonyms, Donn Cortez and Don DeBrandt, decide to stay at home–but Cortez is devious, and you can’t keep DeBrandt away from a party. Anyway, I’ll be doing two readings, sitting on a few panels, and generally hanging out. Hope to see you there!
I suck.
Not in a hemovorous sort of way, either. More in a “can you believe how long it’s been since I posted on my website” sort of way. I plead parenthood, two active pseudonyms (Damn you, Cortez, and your Teutonic success!) plus there was this terrible natural disaster during an alien invasion while I was very sick and it wasn’t my fault.
All right. Let’s see if I can update my general progress.
Parenthood mentioned. Check.
Book Four of The Bloodhound Files, Better Off Undead, coming out on October the Third. Check.
Book Five, Back From the Undead, finished and turned in. Check. Wait, I haven’t actually received the check yet. Pending.
Book Six, Undead to the World, in progress. Just finished Chapter 4, actually. I mean, check—
Pardon me, senora. A moment of your time, if you please. My new novel, REMOTE, will also be issued shortly as an e-book. It is a sequel—
–hang on, pal. You can’t just bust in here and start promoting your own stuff while I’m in the middle of an update—
–a sequel to my novel THE CLOSER, which, as you know, made it onto the top ten bestseller list in Europe—
No, Cortez, it didn’t. It hit number 25. In Germany. And the sequel doesn’t even drop until next May, so why are you interrupting me right now?
It comes out in Germany in May, it is true, but the e-book will be sooner. And in English.
Sigh. Okay, what’s the e-pub date?
I do not know. Yet.
Right. Go away.
Farewell, senora. Until we meet again.
That guy . . . anyway, what else? Oh, yeah, Jace was nominated as Urban Fantasy Heroine of the!year last year (she didn’t win, and is still sulking). I’m really excited about the current book, which does some very interesting things as far as the relationship between Jace and Charlie go—
Hey there!
Oh, no. You, too?
Don DeBrandt here! Just thought I’d let you all know my out-of-print Science Fiction works are also being released as e-books! The cyberpunk classic THE QUICKSILVER SCREEN, my cyberfolk trilogy, STEELDRIVER, TIMBERJAK and V.I. will all soon be available again!
Terrific. Congratulations. You don’t have a release date, either, do you?
No, I don’t!
Uh-huh.
And my exclamation point is stuck!
I can see that.
Actually, it really hurts! Please help me!
I hate you, DeBrandt. Donn Cortez is smarmy, but you’re a lunatic.
I think it’s getting worse!!!
Goodbye, DeBrandt.
Aaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!—oh, that’s better.
Moving right along . . . my publisher is currently considering a proposal for a new series. Don’t want to say too much right now, but it will bring the funny. And the twisted. And the shambling . . .
I guess that’s about it for now—oh, wait. I have a Facebook page now, and a Twitter account. Follow me or drop me a comment, please. The only thing keeping me sane while I wade through robot-generated comment spam promising me great deals on Liberian passports is the prospect of something written by an actual human being. So please, for the love of God, post something. Anything. Just try to restrain yourself on the use of exclamation points—my ears are still ringing from DeBrant’s little visit.
Hey, everyone. DEATH BLOWS, the sequel to DYING BITES, is now out. Various writing-related tasks have kept me from doing much blogging, but I did find time to do an interview here: http://amberkatze.blogspot.com/2010/04/author-interview-with-author-dd-barant.html
If you want to know a little bit more about me, and possibly even score a free copy of my new book, it’s the place to go.
So, I guess I may as well come clean. I have a Deep Dark Secret, which I am about to reveal, a Secret that goes to the very Core of My Being and is inextricably entangled with my Caps Lock button. I, DD Barant . . . am pseudonymous.
It’s sort of like being anonymous, but with worse spelling. What it means is that I, technically, am not a real person. I’m a pseudonym, from the Latin “pseudo”, meaning “made-up” and “nym”, meaning either an old animated movie about imprisoned mice or someone who likes sex and has a speech impediment.
What was my point again?
Oh, yeah. My questionable existence. Well, the thing is, I was made up by this writer who has more than one pseudonym, and therefore I’m not only fake, I’m not even the eldest sibling. (Don’t ask about my two brothers–one’s a maniac and the other’s a party animal). Anyway, I kind of resent the whole not-being-real-thing, which is why Jace sometimes sounds a little cranky. After all, she’s the fictional product of a made-up person, which could irritate anyone.
But I refuse to let this bother me. I have my own identity, damn it, and this blog is going to prove it. The Internet was made for people like me, personas who exist mainly in other people’s imaginations, and I plan on using it to express myself. Topics I may or may not touch on will include writing, public nudity, esoteric cocktails, creative people I admire, and frogs. Also, there may be random postings while drunk or after seeing a dentist. Comic books will no doubt be mentioned more than once, as well as ramblings on pop culture and the occasional rant on anything I feel like unloading on. There may even be a contest or two.
Hi. My apologies for not getting this blog up and running sooner, but life has been kinda hectic. Hectic in a good way, but not in a sitting-down-and-yakking-on-the-internet-way. I hope to change that pretty soon, and this is me starting out to do that. Still working out the bugs, but hopefully this blog will soon contain actual content, as opposed to the place-holder blankness that’s been in place until now. I’m not promising it’ll be any better, mind you . . . .